When parents undergo a divorce or separation, the children in the marriage may be affected. Child custody is a critical matter you must deal with after the end of a marriage. The issues of child custody help determine where the child will reside and who will make crucial decisions in their everyday life. Most parents want to remain active in their child’s life and will do anything to gain an upper hand in the custody battle.
Since most divorces and separations do not end amicably, you may need to resolve the custody cases in court. If you are in this predicament, you must follow the right steps to ensure that you win your custody case. Each child custody case in California is unique, and the specific circumstances of your case will influence the outcome.
Convincing the court that you deserve custody may be an uphill task. Therefore, you must hire a skilled divorce lawyer who will ensure you receive top-notch and personalized legal insight.
Some of the ways you could win your child custody battle include:
Focus on the child's Best Interests
Separation or divorce can have a significant impact on the emotional well-being of the children. The child’s life may change drastically. Being moved from one home to another and being unable to spend as much time with one of the parents can take a toll on them. Therefore, the judges in family court are keen to ensure the child's best interests by carefully awarding custody.
Although ensuring a child’s best interests may seem like a prominent part of parenting, this may not be the case for everyone. Some parents focus on their anger towards the other spouse, and the aim of engaging in a custody battle is to one-up the other parent. If your focus is just to win the custody case, you may be losing focus on what is important.
Even at a young age, children recognize and are affected by the tension that comes into play after a separation or divorce. The older children will worry about moving homes, changing schools, and leaving their friends.
During these challenging times, you should consider the child’s feelings. As you work through custody arrangements, you should always put the child’s best interests before your needs. You can do this by ensuring that you do not jeopardize the child’s relationship with the other parent.
By doing this, you portray to the court your willingness to work together toward the child’s welfare, which can impact your custody case positively.
Stay Active in your Child's Life
You can increase your chances of winning your custody battle by staying active in your child’s life. You can do this by honoring your responsibilities and exercising your rights toward the child. If you are the patient who moves out of the family home after the divorce, you may have less time with your children. However, this should not prevent you from making efforts to see or spend time with the child.
Even before you enter the negotiations or the court decides on custody, you must utilize every opportunity to be a strong presence in the child’s life. Besides maintaining contact with the child, you should be involved in their school and daily activities. You must document every involvement in the child’s life and keep records.
Remaining in the child’s life assures the court of your commitment to the child's welfare. You can back up your need for custody using the evidence you put together.
Remain Civil With your Ex
Child custody battles arise after a divorce or separation. Before the case ends in court, you may be allowed to make arrangements with the other parent and reach an agreement. Unfortunately, this is impossible when you can maintain a civil relationship with your ex-spouse.
Divorce and separation can be messy, making it difficult to maintain an amicable relationship or come to an agreement. However, child custody issues focus on the well-being of your child. If you want to remain a big parent in your child’s life by winning custody, you must be willing to put your anger towards your ex aside and be civil to the child.
Being civil will portray you as a controlled and mature person who could be entrusted with the welfare of a minor. You can maintain a civil relationship by respecting their time with the child and being willing to maintain legal conversations.
Some aspects of your relationship with your ex could hurt your custody case, including:
- Badmouthing your ex to your children.
- Verbally abusing your ex during the custody negotiations.
- Being rigid about your parenting schedules.
- Putting your anger towards your spouse before the child’s welfare.
Child custody can be a contentious process. However, keeping calm and avoiding tension between you and the other parent could work in your favor.
Avoid Issues That Could Harm Your Custody Chances
When you face custody battles, every aspect of your life will be examined. Investigating your life is done to ensure the safety and well-being of the child. Therefore, you need to look into the aspects of your life that could be a problem.
With the guidance of a competent attorney, you can understand aspects of your life and their role in your custody case. This ensures that you will not be surprised when an issue about your life is brought up in the case.
Common issues that could hurt your chances for child custody include:
- Withholding the other parent's visitation rights.
- Failure to cooperate with the other parent for the child’s well-being.
- Exercising poor judgment on social media.
- Failure to obey court orders.
Avoid Parental Alienation
Excluding cases where one parent has a history of abuse or severe crimes against the child, the family court works to ensure that both parents are involved in a child’s life after separation or divorce. Parental alienation is a scenario where a child is estranged from one of the parents due to manipulation by the other parent.
You can be accused of alienating your child from their other parent by speaking ill of the parent in the child’s presence. Additionally, this could occur if you physically keep the child away. Alienating your child from the other parent may seem like a win to you since you will spend more time with the child. However, engaging in such behavior could significantly harm your custody case.
Unless you have proof that the other parent is a danger to the physical and mental well-being of the child, you should encourage and facilitate a relationship between them. There are three main types of parental alleviation, including:
- Mild parental alienation. This occurs when the child does not contact the alienated parent but has a good relationship with them without the alienator.
- Moderate parental alienation. Moderate alienation occurs when the child has a solid resistance to contacting the alienated parent and is resentful when the parent is present.
- Severe alienation. This occurs when the child insists on not contacting the alienated parent and exhibits strong behavior like hiding or running away when the alienated parent is around.
If the other parent accuses the other parent of alienating the child, the family could check out for the following behaviors:
- The child’s relationship with the estranged parent has deteriorated after separation or divorce.
- The child shows open criticism towards the alienated parent.
- The alienated parent does not display abusive or poor parenting behaviors.
- The child has insistent good feelings for the alienator and only bad feelings toward the alienated parent.
If your ex attempts to alienate you from your child, you should report the matter to the court. This is because alienation could affect your relationship with the child and their preferences during the custody case.
Prepare for the Child Custody Hearing
Another way to ensure your custody battle ends in your favor is by preparing for the hearing. This helps you know what to expect and how to respond to different circumstances that could arise in the hearing. You can explore these tips when preparing for your hearing:
Gather Relevant Documentation
Child custody is a serious legal matter, requiring you to present all documentation to the court. These documents include your financial record, evidence of the child’s well-being, and communication related to the other parent's involvement in the child’s life. Additionally, medical records and school records may be necessary. Having these documents ready ensures that your case is organized and you do not leave anything out.
Document your Parental Involvement
When awarding child custody, the court favors the parents who are more involved in their child’s daily activities. Therefore, you should document your participation in school activities, medical appointments, and other parenting aspects. With this evidence, you can prove your commitment to the child’s emotional and physical well-being to the court.
Create a proposed parenting Plan and Custody Arrangement
Unless there is a history of abuse or violence, the family court does not aim at alienating a child from either parent. Therefore, it is important to show a willingness to work together and forge an amicable relationship by creating a parenting plan. In this plan, you can indicate the ideal situation and be specific about the role of each parent in physical and legal custody.
Research on Questions That Could Arise in the Hearing
Each custody case is different. Often, the circumstances of your case will determine its outcome. Before the hearing, you can consider potential scenarios or questions that could arise. These could include concerns about your work schedule, living arrangements, childcare, and the involvement of your extended family in the child’s life. Being prepared for these questions helps you keep your composure at the hearing and increases the charges of receiving custody.
Prepare Witness Testimony
Sometimes a custody case requires witnesses. Your witnesses could help you attest to your involvement in the child’s life or the lack of participation from the other parent. Additionally, witness testimony can increase your credibility in the case.
Avoid Unrealistic Expectations
You will have a better chance at prevailing in your child custody case if you keep your expectations realistic. Some parents assume that physical custody of young children is consistently awarded to mothers, which could make them reluctant to prepare for the custody case. On the other hand, fathers who believe this untrue notion may give up on the custody case without giving it a fair shot.
However, each custody case differs; the common denominator is the child’s best interests. If you believe your child will be safer and well cared for in your home, you must gather and present evidence to the family court to support the argument.
Know What to Expect
When awarding child custody in California, the family court will hold a hearing where the court will examine the circumstances of your case. You can increase your chances of winning your custody case by familiarizing yourself with the court procedures. You can attempt to answer some of these questions to ensure you are more prepared for the hearing:
- Who will be present in the courtroom? Knowing who attends the custody case hearing helps you be prepared to respond to different situations and conduct yourself during the court process.
- Are there documents that I need? Familiarity with the documents needed to prove your case and strengthen your arguments in a child custody battle is necessary to ensure a favorable outcome.
Knowing what to expect can help you feel comfortable and deal with the anxiety associated with custody battles.
Seek Legal Guidance
Going through a divorce can be a traumatizing experience for everyone involved. However, you must handle the child custody situation to ensure the welfare of your child and remain an active part of their life. When you face something as serious as child custody, you should not attempt to do it on your own.
Instead, you should seek legal insight by contacting a divorce attorney. With the complexity of the divorce and child custody laws, you will need attorney guidance to navigate the custody case. Some parents begin the custody battle with misconceptions and false beliefs. Unfortunately, doing this could be detrimental to your case.
The roles of an attorney in your child custody case include:
- Providing legal counsel. Your attorney can help you understand your rights and responsibilities while navigating the custody case.
- Paperwork and documentation. When you hire an attorney, they can help you assemble and prepare all the documents you need to present in the custody case. Additionally, the lawyer will ensure that your documents are filled out correctly.
- Mediation and negotiation. Before your custody case goes to court, you will be allowed to enter mediation and try to develop an agreement between you and the other parent. Your attorney will guide you through these negotiations to ensure your child’s best interests and favorable arrangements.
- Court representation. When agreements cannot be reached through negotiation and mediation, the custody case will go to court. At the hearing, you will need an attorney to help you present evidence and your arguments in the case.
Avoid False Allegations
False accusations are a common way used by parents to gain the upper hand in a custody battle. You can win your child custody battle without making up false stories about the other parent. While false allegations can be a source of scrutiny, they can also be a source of severe custody battles.
Common allegations that could be brought against a parent in a custody battle are domestic violence, sexual abuse, and child abuse, among others. You could lose the child custody case if your false allegations scheme is uncovered.
However, if you have a reasonable belief that could be backed by evidence, you should let the court know it. Reporting abuse in a custody battle helps ensure that your child is not at risk of harm while they reside with or interact with the other parent.
Find a Knowledgeable Family Lawyer Near Me
If you are separated or divorced from your spouse, a child custody battle is likely to emerge. California family courts always want to ensure the children's best interests in these battles. For this reason, the court allows you and your ex-spouse to make arrangements for child custody. If you cannot make the arrangements out of court, the court will decide for you.
No parent wants to be separated from their children. However, even when you feel you deserve to be awarded custody, you must present your case to the court. Whether you seek full or shared custody, you must show the court that your home is stable for your children and that your actions are in their best interests.
You can increase your chances of winning your child custody battle by remaining in the child’s life, remaining civil with the other parent, and keeping your home environment conducive. Preparing, attending, and winning your child custody hearing in San Diego, CA, could be complicated. Therefore, you will benefit from our top-notch legal insight at San Diego Divorce Attorney. Contact us at 858-529-5150 to discuss your case.
