Going through a divorce can be traumatizing, especially when you do not know what to expect. Most people ask a common question: What is the reasonable expectation in a divorce?
Expecting too much can lead to disappointment while expecting too little can make you be taken advantage of. When going through a divorce, you should contact an experienced attorney to guide you through the process. An attorney can help you know what to expect. Every divorce case is reasonable, and the divorce terms can vary depending on whether you have children or if one or both parents are working, among other factors.
When Children Are In The Picture
Children are a blessing. However, your divorce is likely to be more complicated if you have children. There will likely be intricate or contested child custody issues. What you should expect when you are going through a divorce and you have children depends on the following factors:
-
Whether Both Parents Cooperate
Your divorce and child custody case will be simpler if you and your spouse cooperate. Cooperating with your partner does not mean that you should sign the settlement agreement without analyzing it in depth. Your child custody agreement will be straightforward if you and your spouse have your children's best interests at heart and are willing to work together. The communication between you, preferably through your attorneys, will be straightforward.
Even if you and your spouse agree on the divorce terms, you should not resolve child custody issues without an experienced attorney. Even in an uncontested divorce, issues can turn sour because the settlement agreement will become a court order.
Joint Legal or Physical Custody
You should expect the joint legal or physical custody issue to come up. Working out a joint legal custody will be straightforward if you and your spouse work together. In the case of joint physical custody, you can agree with your partner to ensure that each of you spends considerable time with the children. The ideal physical custody arrangement is 50-50, but this does not have to be the case. You are free to work out an arrangement that works for you and the other parent.
Holidays, Vacations, and Special Days
Together with your lawyers, you and your spouse can decide how to share holidays, vacations, and special days. You should have a predictable schedule for all the upcoming events.
Open-ended Arrangements are Not Encouraged
Many parents face challenges for leaving the schedule open-ended or over-relying on mutual agreements. A schedule for regular parenting, vacations, and holidays is best worked out in advance. This will help you avoid misunderstandings. You will also be safe if the other parent tries to play games or deny you time with your children. Predictability matters because it enhances accountability. However, you must understand that not every divorce case is uncontested. In contested divorce cases, you might have to work out certain issues in court.
- If You are a Working Parent and The Other Parent Does Not Cooperate
You might feel taken advantage of if you are a working parent because the custody arrangement might not work in your favor. However, with prior planning and reasonable expectations, you can achieve more than expected.
You Have a Right To Spend Regular Time With Your Children
If you are a working parent and the other parent is denying you time with your children, you should not wait. The more the other parent withholds the children from you, the more challenging it will be to spend time with them.
You must prove to your partner that you are serious about co-parenting and spending time with your children. You should not shy away from pursuing legal action if this is what it takes to spend time with your children.
You must be aware that pursuing legal action might be costly, but your children are worth it. Litigation might be the best option to avoid future drama with an unreasonable spouse.
After submitting the child custody paperwork, you must provide additional evidence to prove that you are willing and capable of taking care of your children.
The Arrangement Might Not Be 50-50
Especially if the other parent does not work and has more free time, you should not expect the custody arrangement to be 50-50. However, you should not agree to weekend-only visitation or nonovernight visitation. Even when you are dealing with an unreasonable parent, having a competent attorney by your side can put you at an advantage. There is hope, provided that the other parent is not a sociopath or a narcissist.
- When You are a Stay-at-home Parent With an Uncooperative Working Parent
In typical situations, mothers are the stay-at-home parents. When going through a divorce, stay-at-home mothers encounter unique challenges. You will need an aggressive divorce attorney to help you navigate this complex situation. The working parent might use the children as leverage to win a child support case. Some parents use lies to prevail in divorce and child custody cases. The working parent might exaggerate the time spent with the children in the past. Another common tactic that the working parent can use against you is misrepresenting your care for your children. Whatever the challenges you face as a stay-at-home parent, an experienced attorney can help.
Working Parents Can Make Unrealistic Demands Regarding Child Custody
Working parents might demand equal parenting time even if they do not have enough time to care for their children. These parents can fight for parenting time only to hand the children to their relatives.
The working parent can complicate the litigation process by inflating the litigation costs and discouraging the stay-at-home parent. Fathers especially make this mistake or adopt aggressive habits to secure child custody.
Court Intervention Might Be Inevitable
The working parent is likely to take you to court, so you should be prepared for it. You should not just prepare for the court sessions but also the court and attorney fees involved. If the working parent makes more money than you, this can work to your advantage because the court can order your partner to pay the litigation fees.
The working parent can act unreasonably, making you pursue litigation for your divorce or child custody case. If your case proceeds to actual litigation, the California Family Code 2030 & 2032 will file a claim to recover attorney fees against the working parent. The amount you can recover will depend on your financial needs and the working parent's ability to pay.
The California Family Code Section 271 can also sanction an unreasonable parent or spouse for:
-
Assuming an unreasonable position in a case.
-
Failure to compromise where it is reasonable to do so.
-
Pursuing unnecessary litigation.
Do Not Give In To Deception And Bullying
Contested divorce and child custody cases can be intimidating, especially because you must appear before a judge. You should contact a divorce attorney who has handled cases similar to yours and is not afraid to pursue litigation.
- Divorce Against A Self-Employed Spouse
Self-employment can be in many forms but mainly involves spouses who own businesses. What is the main difference between divorcing a spouse who is employed and one who is self-employed? For a W-2 employee, it is easy to track their income, but spouses in self-employment can hide their income or misreport it.
When the other spouse is self-employed, you must do comprehensive due diligence to evaluate their income. Your attorney might have to bring in experts like a forensic accountant to evaluate the self-employed spouse's income.
Here is what you should expect when working against a self-employed spouse:
-
You can go for an agreed-upon forensic accountant to evaluate your spouse's income. The accountant can also do a business valuation. However, this option is not recommended. You should only consider it if the income involved is not high net worth or your partner's business is not worth much.
-
Each spouse can retain an independent forensic accountant. However, for this arrangement to work, you will need cooperation from the self-employed spouse. However, the other spouse might sometimes be unwilling to cooperate with you. A written discovery might be necessary to ensure the self-employed spouse does not conceal crucial information.
-
After completion of the income analysis, your respective attorneys will discuss support like alimony and child support.
- When You Are A Self-employed Spouse Going Through A Divorce
As a self-employed spouse, you must remain vigilant as your business is being evaluated. Your business will likely have to go through forensic accounting to determine the cash flow and the business value. Forensic accounting and business valuation go hand in hand.
The Information In Your Books Must Be Accurate
If you are like most people, you probably do not understand all your business financials. Your situation will likely be much easier if you have an accountant or bookkeeper who maintains your business records. However, the situation could be complicated, especially if you do not separate your personal and business expenses. The other spouse might try to exaggerate and claim that your business makes more money than what you disclose. The services of a forensic accountant and an experienced attorney will come in handy at this point.
- When You and Your Spouse Own a Home
If you and your spouse own a home, the main question will be who should move out of the home and who should remain. You might not know what to expect because sometimes the judge can order that the house should be sold and the proceeds shared between spouses. The situation can be more intricate if the house in question does not have substantial equity. If you are not willing to surrender the house, your divorce can be lengthy and heated.
There are No Unique Rules When a Divorce Involves a Family House
If none of you can manage to buy the other partner's house ownership out, the court can order the house to be sold. The court can also order a buyout if one partner wants the house and can afford to buy it. You should not expect the court to deal with the issue of the house or other shared property at the beginning of your divorce. In most cases, courts issue rulings on properties at the end of the divorce.
The court can design temporary orders for pressing issues like child support, custody, and attorney fees. However, if the house is at risk of default or foreclosure, the court can issue rulings regarding the house even before the completion of the divorce case.
With Smart Negotiations, Both Partners Gain
Whether you reach an out-of-court settlement or your case proceeds to litigation, you and your spouse must negotiate and agree on who retains the house. If you do not agree, you must decide who will buy the other spouse out.
Your divorce case will be easier if you decide to sell the house. However, under Family Code 2640, reimbursement claims can result if there are special contributions towards the house. In this case, the house sale proceeds might be placed in an escrow account and later divided between the spouses.
In cases of a buyout, you could be the one buying or being bought out. Whatever the case, the parent being bought out must be removed from the title. By doing this, the bought-out partner cannot claim the house.
- When You And Your Spouse Own A Business Together
When you and your spouse own a business, your situation will be similar to dealing with a self-employed spouse. Whether you are being bought out of a business or buying the other spouse out, it is important that you retain an experienced forensic accountant to value the business. The accountant will determine the business's worth and calculate the reasonable buyout amount. The situation will be more intricate if the business is not purely community property but involves outside parties.
The Forensic Accountant Will Request Comprehensive Information
You and your partner must give the forensic accountant comprehensive information for an accurate business valuation. The information can include:
-
Balance sheets.
-
Profit and loss statements.
-
Bank statements.
-
Internal financial documents.
-
Related documents.
Court Intervention If One Spouse Is Uncooperative
The family court will be involved if the spouse who operates the business conceals information. Depending on the lack of cooperation, this can lead to significant litigation. While most cases settle out-of-court, you should expect litigation in case the other spouse does not cooperate.
You do not have to agree to what your spouse wants. If you cannot agree, litigation is the best option. Discovery and business valuation will be done, and eventually, your case will proceed to trial.
- When Your Spouse Is Abusive
Your divorce will be unique if you are divorcing an abusive spouse. An abusive spouse can be challenging to deal with and unpredictable. However, what you should expect can vary depending on the unique facts of your case.
The Judge Might Impose A Restraining Order
You will likely need to apply for a domestic violence restraining order. When you report a domestic abuse incident, law enforcement officers can issue an emergency restraining order to prevent further abuse. The court can later convert the emergency restraining order into a permanent restraining order.
Domestic Violence Can Extend To Children
You must be careful if your partner is abusive because domestic violence can extend to the children. Separating with the abusive partner even before the divorce is complete can protect you and your children. Your children could be at risk if the abusive partner secures parenting time. You will need to convince the court about your spouse's abusive tendencies.
Domestic Violence Can Affect Spousal Support
Domestic violence will also impact spousal support. Under Family Code sec 4320, the court must consider the presence of domestic violence when deciding spousal support. The court might be unwilling to grant spousal support to the domestic violence perpetrator. Even if domestic violence might not lead to the elimination of spousal support, it can significantly affect the amount awarded.
If you need spousal support and are a victim of domestic violence, the court will likely grant you support and might even increase the amount to be awarded. Given the physical or emotional toll the divorce has had on you, you might receive a higher alimony amount.
- When The Other Spouse Falsely Accuses You Of Abuse
An unreasonable spouse can do whatever it takes to win a divorce or child custody case. This can involve accusing you of domestic violence falsely. You are more likely to face false accusations if the other parent is narcissistic or malicious. Here is what you should expect in this case:
-
Expect little or even no negotiation with the unreasonable spouse.
-
Your case will likely proceed to litigation because reaching a settlement with an unreasonable spouse can be challenging.
-
There might be formal requests for information.
-
There could be child custody battles.
Find An Experienced Divorce Attorney Near Me
If you are going through a divorce and are unsure of what to expect, our divorce attorneys at the San Diego Divorce Attorney can help. Every divorce is unique. Therefore, we do not adopt a one-size-fits-all approach when handling divorce cases. We will evaluate your case and chart the best way forward. For reliable legal guidance and representation, contact us today. Call us at 858-529-5150 to speak to one of our attorneys.
